A child not feeling loved by parents who truly love them is usually down to a mismatch between the parents’ way of expressing their love, and their child’s way of receiving it. Dr Gary Chapman coined the phrase ‘the 5 love languages’. It is literally as if the parent and child are speaking a different language. An alternative to Chapman’s ‘5 love languages’, is to approach our understanding of a child through the lens of the Chinese medicine 5 Element system. This brilliant framework can be an insightful land useful way to make sure we are giving children our love in a way that they can receive.